Spider Rigging...To the Extreme

Received the following cartoon from my oldest daughter a little earlier tonight. Any crappie fishermen out there certainly can appreciate something like this.

"Reel It In...Or Else"

That's the edict anglers in Texas have had to live with since May of 2011, when the state enacted a new law that, among other things, made lying about the size or provenance of a fish caught in a tournament an offense that could result in a 3rd-degree felony charge. Incidentally, such a charge carries the possibility of a 2-to-10-year prison sentence, or if the fisherman is put on probation, he/she is at greater risk of imprisonment later for violating the probation terms.

For minor tournaments, cheaters can be charged with a Class A misdemeanor and face up to a year in jail, or a maximum $4,000 fine. But if the prize involved is more than $10,000, contestants can pay up to a $10,000 fine, as well as spend 2 to 10 years in prison.

HB 1806, as it was known in May 2011, expanded existing law to all fishing tournaments, including fresh and saltwater. The bill made it an offense for contestants to give, take, offer, or accept a fish not caught as part of the tournament. It also became an offense to misrepresent a fish. In short, fraudulent fishermen throughout the Lone Star State were warned to "reel it in...or else."

As you might imagine, when contents of this bill became public knowledge, it created a whirlwind of comments from the "peanut gallery" all across the state. Following is just a sampling of those  comments:

From Hook 'Em Horns came this: "Texas = PRISON STATE! Any questions?"

From DD came this: "The golf lobby is high-fiving each other to celebrate their exclusion from this bill. And if you cheat at Solitaire, I guess it's up to God to strike you dead. I can only surmise that the Legislature already has solved all of our vexing social problems, such as tax relief for yacht purchasers, legislators' compelling need to bring guns into churches and bars, and criminalizing the hiring of any undocumented aliens, except those providing child care or lawn care."

From Anonymous 1 came this: "I was thinking that next session all us guys who lie about the size of certain 'parts' will be in a real pickle...2nd-degree felony, maybe? On the serious side of things, what happened to all those less important bills, like the budget? Sometimes, you think a session will produce great things for the lives of the citizens; then the cold, dead redsnapper of truth hits you right across the face."

From Anonymous 2 came this: "Maybe eventually, they'll make running for or holding a public office in Texas a felony and solve all our problems."

And finally, from The Homeless Cowboy came this: "Ladies and gentlemen, I am deeply saddened by this event. Truly one of the last bastions of manhood has been stripped from us. Men have misrepresented their fishing trophies for thousands of years, even gone so far as to stop at the market and buy them when we had a bad day. So far as lying about the size and fight they put up, it's an inalienable right. Mail a dead fish to your congressman and maybe they will begin to see that WE HAVE HAD ENOUGH; they must cease and desist from this practice. They have just turned every law-abiding male citizen in this state into a felon. THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE. P.S. I cheat at Solitaire, too."

According to some newspaper accounts, many anglers nevertheless were happy with the bill.

Fishing lore may be full of tales about "the one that got away," as well as fishermen who long have been known to exaggerate the size of their catch. The bragging problem in the Lone Star State in 2011, however, simply had gotten "so bad that something had to be done," as explained by Tommy Hagler, a fishing guide operating out of Abilene at the time.

He went on to say he himself never had lied about the size of a fish...and, in fact, on one occasion had shorted himself by two pounds. That, however, wasn't on the occasion when he caught his personal best to date: an 11.62 pounder.

Steve Schmidt, another fishing guide, said that tall fish tales told by tourists, not involved in tournaments, "probably were acceptable." He clarified that statement by noting that "when everybody is just telling stories, that's fishing, but to cheat, that's another thing. That's just not right."

The Rattletrap Lure: D'Ya Know How It Got Its Name?

If you do, you know more than I did until just a few hours ago, when I launched an Internet research project on the topic. I always had thought the name related to the sound this lure makes while it's being retrieved. That, however, was a wrong assumption on my part, as I'll explain before I'm done here.

Suffice it to say, however, that while I have resolved the naming issue, I've also created a question or two I still can't...and perhaps never will be able to...answer. More precisely, my problem centers on just who really should get the credit for inventing the lure. Until today, I always had thought Bill Lewis was that person (and there's plenty of ink to make you believe that way), but now, I'm not so sure. Here's why.

Upon beginning my research today, I first came across an article about John C. Boucher, Jr., a fisherman from East Texas who is credited with inventing the Gay Blade lure, which has been on the market since 1956, and according to some, "is still a favorite among fishermen." According to the facts I uncovered, Boucher started this project with only a pair of tin snips, a tin can, and some solder.

Immediately, the Gay Blade was a hit with all the inventor's friends. Once the word got spread around about this new lure, it became so popular that a company went to Boucher and volunteered to build it for him, entirely at their cost, along with a request to then buy rights to and sell the lure, allowing him to keep "a little royalty," of course. That company turned out to be owned by Cotton Cordell, who made the purchase in 1954.

Boucher then built the Hot Spot lure in 1959, which also was a hit, but not as much as his next lure: the Rattletrap, which became one of the most coveted of all fishing lures.

"But, hey, just a minute here," you may be saying about now. "All the Rattletraps I buy today has the name of Bill Lewis on them." And you would be right. Therein lies the problem I created for myself today that, at least so far, I haven't been able to unravel completely.

However, it gets even better. In the article I read today about Boucher, it notes that he attributed much of the Rattletrap's popularity to its name. He said that most people thought the name came from the fact the lure's leads hit together, producing a slight rattle. However, the truth is that the name came from an early salesman's car...an old Ford station wagon that rattled...which happens to coincide, in general terms, with what I read in an online article about Lewis.

Meanwhile, nobody seems to know exactly when the Bill Lewis Rat-L-Trap was invented...the generally agreed-upon timeframe is 1968-69. Because he was constantly experimenting with new lure designs, the one that later would become world famous was, to Lewis, just another in a pile of lures he planned on taking to Toledo Bend Reservoir for testing.

Shortly after he and a fishing buddy arrived there, a rather heavy shad-type lure filled with BBs started getting their attention with the sound it made. The buddy described it as "sounding like a locomotive, rattling down a loose section of railroad tracks." In any event, that sound produced a large number of bass that day, including some 6-, 7-, and 8-pounders.

During the drive home that day, one other thing happened, which always was attributed as "one of Bill's most creative moments." As he was manually operating a broken-down windshield wiper on his old car (the "old Ford station wagon" referenced earlier?), with one hand on the wheel and the other out the window, he thought to himself: "Rattletrap--that's what I'll call it."

As far as I'm concerned, there's an unanswered question here: Did Lewis and Boucher have the same kind of arrangement that existed between Cordell and Boucher for the Gay Blade? If so, I've not seen any confirmation of it. Hmm...

Something Different for Finicky Bass

When I got out of the skin doctor's office today, I came home and started checking the Internet for something new to work up for my blog...but that wasn't before the doctor took his proverbial pound of my flesh. Was going there for him only to dig a bit deeper in a cancer spot he found a couple weeks ago on the back of my right arm. As it worked out, though, he found a couple new spots close to the original one and wouldn't let me go until he had taken biopsies from both of those, too. At least, I'm not in any pain, and that's all that really matters.

In any event, I hadn't much more than started looking around the Internet until I happened across an item that mentioned "spybaiting" in the headline. Given what we've seen in the news here recently about China's big spy balloon that got shot down, I couldn't resist giving it a read.

As it turned out, the article had nothing to do with China or any balloons. Instead, spybaiting refers to a finesse technique designed to help you catch more fish.

Unlike most finesse presentations, however, which usually involve slow bottom-fishing tactics, spybaiting is done with a simple minnow-shaped bait with small in-line propellers that spin when the lure is retrieved. The technique originated in Japan some years ago around the famous Lake Biwa, known for its ultra-clear water and heavily pressured fish.

The angler simply ties on a lipless jerkbait-type hard bait with a propeller at each end, makes a long cast with light line...usually fluorocarbon...and allows the bait to sink ever so slowly. It can be fished throughout the water column and features a subtle rocking motion from side to side when retrieved...preferably with a spinning reel. It's the subtle shimmy at slow speeds that makes it irresistible to bass of all varieties.

A spybait might look like a type of lure you'd reel quickly, or that needs some additional action, but the opposite is true. It seems to produce in most any situation, as long as the water is relatively clear, though there are some times it really excels. For example, it's quite effective for targeting suspended bass, no matter the species. Be aware, however, that there are different approaches for targeting the different species.

When it comes to targeting largemouth bass, Jason Lambert finds value in fishing a spybait anytime the water cools off in the Tennessee River. He doesn't hesitate to pick up one of these baits when the water temp gets down around the low 50s or colder and the fish won't chase a jerkbait.

"Working suspended fish is where it works best," he said. "You just have to figure out what depth they are sitting in and count the bait down and work it slow from there.

"The majority of the bites come on the fall," he continued. "The key is to find a spybait that has a balanced, flat fall to it. A slow, subtle drop will help trigger bites. Of course, you catch some while reeling, but I think most of them hit it as it falls toward the school."

Lambert reaches for a 7-foot, medium-action Duckett Micro Magic Pro spinning rod and 8-pound-test fluorocarbon for working picky largemouths. While he has used several different spybaits, he says the Duo Realis Spinbait 80 is his favorite.

The late Aaron Martens (left) had a little different take on the spybait than Lambert. He acknowledged that the period from prespawn to late fall was the prime time but said, "It works all year, as long as the water has at least a few feet of visibility.

"Spybaiting shines on days when it's too calm to throw a jerkbait," added Martens, "and works great when the fish are scattered because it's a finesse reaction bait that you can use to cover water.

Like Lambert, Martens normally threw the spybait on a spinning rig, spooled with light fluorocarbon. However, if the water wasn't gin clear, Martens advocated that you could "get away with braid to a fluorocarbon leader."

Though spybaiting is a niche technique, it's still a heavily underutilized technique, and many anglers still haven't experimented with it enough to realize its potential. That's a good thing for anyone willing to give it a go as the water cools off each season, because it just might be the ticket to getting stubborn suspended bass to commit when nothing else works.

What's the Magic Water Temp for Topwater Bassin'?

I figured everybody had their own idea about an answer to this question, and let's just say I was anything but disappointed after doing some online research into the matter.

According to Dean Rojas, "The optimal temperature is when the water starts crossing the 50-degree barrier. Topwater fishing stays hot when the water temperature is well into the 90-degree range."

On the other hand, however, Dave Wolak says "...bass will aggressively bite a topwater at 62 degrees. Grass starts to get a strong hold at that temp, and a frog really begins to shine. A buzzbait, waking a spinnerbait, prop baits, spooks, and poppers also are great this time of year."

The fellas at Tactical Bassin, though, say water temperature really doesn't have anything to do with it. Instead, they indicate that when you start pulling green, growing grass of any kind off the bottom with a crankbait, or see any sign of baitfish activity, the time is right to break out your arsenal of topwaters and go to work. They also have some more advice, all of which you can review for yourself in the video that can be found at this link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wzE_XilEEfk.

Regardless of what battle plan you adhere to for your topwater fishing, I think we all can agree with this general premise: There's nothing that compares to an explosive, water-shattering strike on a topwater bait, to which I personally would add this caveat: "especially very early morning, just as the first rays of dawn are breaking." Many times over my nearly 80 years, I've been blessed to have had the indescribable joy of experiencing that kind of heart-stopping action first-hand...as I'm sure all of you have, too. For me, it simply doesn't get any better than that.

While researching the Internet for this post, I came across an item about Ray Heady, who, years ago, was outdoor editor of the Kansas City Star. He claimed there is nothing that compares to catching bass with a topwater lure.

"When bass come roaring up out of the depths of water, with their big mouth wide open, and you see the fish exploding through the center spray, it gets your adrenaline going like nothing else in fishing.

"The excitement of using topwater lures are just that. They stay on top of the water, and fish come up from underneath and do their best to give the angler a heart attack. Fish hitting a topwater lure are doing more than just picking up dinner; they are trying to kill that frog, bug, rodent, or baitfish struggling on top."

In closing, let me leave you with this story about a young boy who learned the intricacies of bass fishing from his uncle. Their first trip together was to a 3-acre hidden pond on the uncle's farm that "held more bass than the mosquitos that swarmed it."

Said the young boy, "I couldn't even sleep the night before. The next morning, I was waiting in the kitchen for my uncle to come in and fill his thermos with coffee, make a couple of bacon sandwiches, put a bottle of Coke in his lunch pail, and get going. I was bright-eyed and bushy-tailed."

After a short drive through several pasture gates, the uncle stopped his truck, and the young boy jumped out and slammed the door with excitement.

"Easy does it, buddy," said the uncle. "Those big fish can hear a door slammed 100 yards away."

"I was 16 before I learned that wasn't exactly true," said the boy.

The uncle dropped the tailgate, pulled out the rods and reels, grabbed his tacklebox, and handed the young boy the lunch pail. Off they went then through a finger of woods to the most amazing pond the boy ever had seen.

The water was perfectly still. The pond had trees growing right to the edge of the water. It was a clear, aqua-blue hole in the earth that was spring-fed.

"I was most focused on the vast covering of lily pads that stretched almost the width of the pond," noted the young boy. "My enthusiasm wavered as all I could think of was how many times I was going to get snagged on those weeds.

"My uncle recognized the fear in my eyes of losing every lure I had on me in those pads and asked me, 'You have any topwater baits with you?' I shook my head and asked, 'What's a topwater?' He just smiled and pulled a topwater mouse out of his tacklebox and tied it on."

"Cast it in one of those little openings in the pads under a tree limb," said the uncle. "The bass will think a mouse slipped and fell in. Then do a slow steady retrieve back, right over those lily pads."

"I thought that lure was too large and too odd-looking for a fish to go after it, but I did as I was told," said the boy. "I made a cast fairly close to a 3-foot opening in the pads, closed my bail, and literally got one crank on the reel before the water exploded like a WWII mine had been bumped by a submarine. The lure went 2 feet into the air from a missed strike. The ferocity of the hit startled me. By the time I set the hook in the air, the lure landed right in front of me. My uncle let out a hearty laugh and said, 'Welcome to topwater fishing, buddy.'

"Over the next four hours," continued the boy, "I must have had 30 or more strikes, with fish blowing our topwater lures out of the water. I landed about a third of them. While most fish were in the 3-pound range, my uncle said a few of them were over 7. That little meadow mouse had to have a piece of cord tacked to it after an hour because the tail had been ripped off. One eye and one ear were gone as well by the time we broke for lunch. My right bicep was sore, and my nerves were shot. My uncle had to remind me you can't grin and drink out of a bottle at the same time.

"While eating my bacon sandwich and drinking my Coke, my uncle was re-bending some of the hooks on my mouse lure.

"On my first cast after lunch, a lunker broke the line, and the miracle mouse was gone. I was devastated and thought the day was through. Then my uncle said, 'Try this popper.' I asked if it was a topwater, and when he nodded yes, I said, 'Tie that thing on, and let's see if they like it.'

"Whether it is the exaggeration of good memories that takes place over the years, or if it was literally the most fish I ever had had hit topwater baits in my life, I can't really say. All I know is my first experience with a topwater lure ruined freshwater baits for me. To this day, my first passes over a pond or lake are topwater frogs, turtles or buzzbombs. I almost don't care if they hit it. I figure I've had enough strikes from that one day many years ago to last me a lifetime."

For Anyone Who Didn't See the Daytona 500 This Past Sunday...

DMac sent me the following photo to use as his contribution to the "Rainy Day Humor" series I've been running recently:

Doesn't Anybody Work Any More?

That's a question my friend and fellow fisherman, Rob P (right), asked me today while we...and a bunch of other folks...were on the water looking for a few fish. There were probably a dozen or more vehicles in the parking lot, which did seem a bit strange, considering that today was only Wednesday. Can't help thinking, though, that all of us likely were just trying to take advantage of these nice days while they're still here.

While tomorrow is supposed to be even warmer than today was, weather forecasters have been calling for stronger winds Thursday, which could have been a motivating factor for the bigger-than-expected crowd that was running around West Neck and other areas today. As Rob explained, there was another boat already sitting on the first three spots he went to first thing this morning.

Saw Skip on the water today, too--his first venture since last year, when he had to stand down from pretty much all activity for a good spell, while convalescing after some serious surgery. He's dropped a few pounds and indicates that he feels good again now and is ready to get back into all the things he truly loves, including his fishing.

He sent me the accompanying photo while we were on the water, acknowledging that this marked his "first fish of the 2023 season."

Here's hoping it's just the first of many, my good buddy, that you'll put in the boat this year. We're also looking forward to having you join us for at least some of the Dewey's tournaments, starting in late-March.

At long last, I finally met up with my blog contributor DMac this morning. Took me completely by surprise. Turns out that DMac originally had planned on a trip to Back Bay this morning, but settled instead on making an appearance at West Neck, just on the off chance that he might at last find me on site. We've often talked about getting together one of these days for a chat, but it's been a long spell in the making.

'Twas indeed good to finally shake hands with each other and chat for a spell before we shoved off from the West Neck ramp this morning and commenced our fishing day.

Incidentally, my friend, after reading your email just a few minutes ago about the kind of fishing day you had today, I want you to know I'm kickin' myself just a tad for not listening to my instincts last evening while assembling my arsenal for today. As I opened my box to make my picks, my eyes immediately settled on some of my favorite topwaters, but I shook my head and said, "Naw, it's just a bit too early for those."

Now I find out that you had a really nice late-morning with a topwater bite that yielded seven bass, including four keepers and three dinks. Good on ya!!! Be assured I'll be armed my next trip.

As it turned out, the last couple of days have been rather unusual for me, starting with a trip my wife and I made to the Nimmo Walmart store yesterday. We just had gotten out of her car and were starting toward the store, when we glanced down on the asphalt and found three shiny quarters laying close by.

Then, this morning, after I had launched my boat at West Neck and parked, I just had locked up my ol' van and started back toward the ramp, when I looked on the ground under my trailer tongue and found...don't you know...two more shiny quarters laying there, too.

Finding those quarters and meeting DMac for the first time, all in a little less than 24 hours, certainly seemed unusual, but then to spend four hours on the water, catching two bass (a 1-9 and a 1-3), plus two white perch and a yellow perch was nearly too good to be true.

Sure would be nice if this streak of good luck would continue hanging around for a while yet, but given the kind of luck I normally have, I sincerely doubt that will be the case. The standard routine undoubtedly will return with a vengeance...well before I'm ready.

Lures That Used to Bring 'Em to the Dance Still Do

While the market is flooded with new, innovative baits, bass pros often choose to turn back the hands of time and use decades-old lures that have proven fish-catching track records. Among this group is FLW Tour angler Pete Ponds.

The late outdoor writer Bobby Cleveland, who covered sports in Mississippi for more than 40 years, interviewed Ponds back in 2015, and the following are highlights of that interview.

"Get ready," said Ponds, adding, "this is where it's gonna happen. Watch this old lure work its magic."

With these words barely out of his mouth, the FLW Tour pro launched a perfect cast with a Devil's Horse toward a fallen treetop. It splashed down just past the exposed branches. Like an artist, he worked the plug toward the cover, its twin propellers sputtering as it passed over the outer edges of the submerged limbs. In an instant, there was a resounding "KA-SPLOOSH!" heard, with water splashing about two feet into the air, as a big fish crushed the lure.

"Holy cow! Did you see that strike?" said Ponds, as he set the hook, his long, white rod bowing against the power of a 6.5-pound post-spawn female largemouth. "Yee haw! This is the one I've been looking for."

A few seconds later, Ponds was sprawled on his side (see above photo), reaching over the rail of his Ranger boat to carefully lip the fish and bring it aboard.

"I'm being gentle," he offered, "not only so I can release the fish, but because that's the only Devil's Horse I have in that color. That's an original from Smithwick, and if you look, you'll see it still has the original name of the lure on the side.

"I've got about five or six of the original Devil's Horse lures," he continued, "and I'm telling you, they are still a tough bait to beat. People think the old lures are outdated, but my boat is full of lures that are 30, 40 and even 50 years old. If they are in my boat, you'd better believe they will catch fish."

Ponds proved his point during a trip on the waters of his 700-acre subdivision lake at his home in Gluckstadt, MS. He pulled a lot of old lures out of the bait-filled belly of his tournament-rigged boat, tied them on one after another, and caught fish. Besides the Devil's Horse were a Devil's Toothpick, Pinfish, Jitter Bug, and Nip-I-Dee-Dee. At one point, he had eight baits on the deck, with an average age of 40 years.

"A lot of these have come from lucky stops I've made along the road," he said, noting that he once had picked up a bunch from an antique flea market he and his wife had stopped at one day. "That guy had a bunch of old lures in a box."

In recalling that day, Ponds had a brief bout of remorse about how cheap the guy had offered him the lot.

"Had he only known what I would have paid for those lures," he said.

Ponds admitted to tying his knots a little bit tighter, or at least with greater care, when he uses his precious old gear.

"On his topwater lures he used on our trip, said Cleveland, "he tied them on braided line...and he steadily pounded fish."

"We don't see a lot of fish schooling on the top at this lake," said Ponds, "but if we were at Ross Barnett Reservoir or any place where the bass were busting shad on the surface, I've got a few more that I could sure enough put on a show with. Thing is, everybody around here has fished these lures for schooling fish, or in other situations, but don't use them any more because they've run out of them or moved on to the latest, greatest thing.

"I still throw the old ones whenever I can because the fish just don't see them any more."

Ponds keeps an eye out for the original versions of lures still on the market.

"New versions of the same lures still are being made, but there's just something about the old models that make them better," he said. "I guess it's probably in the molds, because over time, the new molds may be slightly different than the old ones. And that can work both ways. Some of the newer molds may actually be better in some instances, but I know that it's hard to beat the originals."

"He'll get no argument from Paul Elias on that one," noted Cleveland.

"An example of that is the Zara Spook," said Elias. "They still make the Spooks, but the old ones, man, I just like the way they work. I catch more fish on them. I've got several of them that I truly treasure."

Ponds didn't need deep-diving lures on his late-May fishing trip. Several days of heavy rain had dropped the surface temperatures back to the low- and mid-70s, so the fish were shallow.

"You couldn't ask for any better conditions to feature these older lures, at least the ones I have," said Ponds. "My favorite ones are the topwaters like the Devil's Horse, the Toothpick, the old Pop-Rs, and the Nip-I-Dee-Dee."

Ponds fished them all and put a whipping on his partner, Cleveland, who was throwing a variety of modern-day plugs, crankbaits, wacky-rigged Senkos, and other stuff.

"After 30 minutes, I was satisfied to put down my pole and pick up the camera to chronicle Pond's day," the writer noted.

Ponds came by his love of original lures naturally, following in the footsteps of his dad, Bob Ponds, an original Bassmaster who fished in the first Classic and was a B.A.S.S. regular during the first few years of tournament fishing. Bob Ponds rarely was completely satisfied with lures on the market and became an innovator.

"Some of my favorite lures are ones Dad made," said Pete. "His old Wing-Ding lures, a tail-spinner, and the different versions of it, probably have produced more fish in Mississippi than any lure ever. The old Skip-a-Shad was something he designed, and his original version of it was so good that everybody had to have one on Barnett Reservoir when the bass were schooling. I still have them and the mold.

"One of his ideas, and a lure I still have and use, was called the Rattle Back. It was a lipless crankbait in which the line passed through the lure, allowing it to slide up the line. It came out long before Rat-L-Traps (Bill Lewis Lures) came out with the Pro Trap that featured the pass-through line. We kind of kept Dad's secret because they were so good at hooking and landing fish...still are."

Other Bob Ponds' inventions still are in his son's boat, like the Bassgrabber Eel and one of Pete's favorites, the Bumble Bug.

"The latter is like a jig, with two small spinners on it," Pete explained. "I still carry about a half dozen with me all the time."

Bass Fishing: It's Never Been a Cheap Sport...

But who, especially among us old-time weekend warriors, could have ever predicted the eye-popping prices you find on bass boats today? 

According to one boat dealer, the current average price of a top-of-the-line "chariot" is $70,000 to $80,000. And if that's not good enough for you, consider that the most expensive models can take you to the cleaners for a cool $100,000...or more.

In case you haven't been keeping up with all the changes, consider that the average bass boat 25 years ago was an 18-footer, powered by a 150-hp outboard. The new boats are 22 feet or longer, and most are powered by a 250...or maybe even a 300-hp motor. The older boats, with two fishermen aboard, also had a peak speed of 60 mph, compared to the newer ones that can attain speeds of 95 mph or faster. Further, the older boat had basic fish finders that consisted of a graph, showing the water depth and with blips representing fish. Meanwhile, the electronics on the new bass boats have become so sophisticated that they, as described by some, "offer more information than was available aboard World War II battleships."

Granted, you now usually can arrange financing for 15 or so years, but that seems like a long time to be feeling a stinging sensation every month as you stroke a check to keep the debt collector off your front porch. That stinging is in no way helped by the simple fact that your new high-dollar boat loses a third of its value the moment you tow it off the lot. Yes...that's right...unlike homes, bass boats depreciate, rather than appreciate.

In the event your eyeballs aren't already rolling like the pictures on a slot machine, let's take a moment to discuss the thousands of bucks today's average bass fisherman spends on the assortment of fishing rods necessary to get the job done. We are all familiar with the fact we need rods for flipping, crankbaiting, split-shotting, jigging...you get the picture...in short, one for every special occasion. Some of these rods can cost as much as $700 apiece.

And, of course, we all know that every rod has to have a reel, which, for a serious angler, can run in the $250 to $500 range. Most bass fishermen have at least 10 rods rigged and ready to use at all times.

Then there is all the other gear...the lures and soft plastics, if you will. They also don't come cheap. Some crankbaits, for example, ring up for as much as $30 each, while popular swimbaits can run $70 a pop. Hard swimbaits, costing $250 apiece, also are available. As one retailer noted, "The old days of $3 lures are long past. Most bass fishermen today have several tackle boxes jammed with expensive lures and soft plastics."

Does all this mean you have to spend your life savings on fishing equipment to catch a bass? Not really. It's called marketing, and the industry knows how to market to the most gullible of all people--fishermen. As one fisherman noted, "The bass don't care if you're in a $70,000 bass boat or a $300 wooden rowboat."

I read just the other day that the best way for anglers to beat the marketers is developing a mindset just to look but not to pick up a single item when you walk into a tackle store. According to what I read, once you take an item off the shelf, there's like an 80 percent chance you're going to walk out of the store with it in your hand.

Like It or Not, Game Wardens Have a Job To Do, Too

I personally never have had a run-in with a game warden, but then, I’ve always made a concerted effort to abide by all the rules, as I understand them. Even going back to my Navy days, when I would head home to Kansas for a few days of fishing with my dad, I always would contact the law there ahead of time to make sure their rules hadn’t changed. As it worked out, Kansas never required a visiting active-duty military person with an ID card to have a fishing license during my 20-year career.

My many years in Northern Virginia and locally have been equally without any problems, too. Have been stopped on the water a number of times for a check of my license (have had a lifetime license for years now) and to see whether I had the appropriate gear in my boat, but those instances always have gone smoothly.

Unfortunately, though, the same can’t be said of other folks, as the following two examples will demonstrate.

Read about a fella who had had "one of those days" at work and had decided he was going fishing...come hell or high water. As it turned out, that wasn't the brightest idea he ever had come up with to date.

In a nutshell, he got his butt handed to him by Mother Nature. Strong winds blew him and his aluminum Basstracker 175 onto every stump in the lake..."just a misterable outing," to use his own words.

Finally, after dusting off his ego and rubbing his bruises, he headed into the landing, where he knew game wardens nearly always were on duty...and this day proved to be no exception. The younger of the two wardens didn't even wait for him to finish strapping down his boat before he started asking if he had caught anything.

The disgruntled angler just had given the young warden an emphatic NO! when the latter asked to check the boat's livewell.

"Knock yourself out!" came another terse reply from the angler.

Because the carpeting made for a tight-fitting lid, the young warden couldn't open it from the ground, so he hopped up in the boat, only to learn that the angler's warning that he "might still pop a hernia trying to open it" indeed was true. However, he succeeded but not before making a smart arse comment about the angler being right.

Then the unexpected happened. Seems the young warden had decided to depart the boat on the same side where all the angler's fishing rods were strapped down, and as he jumped off, a spinnerbait caught him in the mid-calf. He now had one leg on the ground, and the other in mid-air, hollering for the angler to push the release button on the strap so he could extricate his leg and remove the hook hanging from it.

The angler obliged but then had to stand around and wait for the young warden to check for a fire extinguisher, all the correct flotation devices...in short, everything on his long list of regulated equipment. The angler fully expected to be handed a ticket for something before all was said and done but escaped without one.

While passing the two game wardens on his way out, the angler couldn't resist stopping momentarily and hollering, "I caught a big one today!"

The other account I read about came from a story by Scott Lindsey that once appeared in the Panama City News Herald. Lindsey based his story on a book titled "Backcountry Lawman," written by Bob H. Lee, a retired Florida wildlife officer living in Putnam County. He was a game warden from 1997 until his retirement in 2007.

According to Lindsey, "You got the feeling you were sitting beside Lee in his old-timer 18-foot fiberglass patrol boat...the kind that had a high bow and low gunnels. It was fashioned after a wooden boat of the same proportions used commercially to hoop-net fish."

Lindsey noted that he got to see one of those boats on the Brothers River in the 1970s. He was bass fishing at the time with a guy named Popeye Fields.

Said Lindsey, "We were about to return to Howard Creek and go home when I heard the whine of a big motor coming up the river. My registration had run out (or so he thought), and I told Popeye I was going to try something and to hold on. I flipped the yellow sally (a fishing fly) about 30 feet out into the woods and then turned the bow toward the bank, got out, and pulled the bow as far as I could onto it.

"Sure enough," continued Lindsey, "the approaching boat slowed when it got even with us, and an officer pulled up alongside my boat and waited until I had retrieved my lure. As soon as I got back in the boat, he wanted to see our fishing licenses. We showed them to him, and at the same time, I held his boat as tightly against mine as I could, thinking he never would see my expired tag.

"The officer had a big black Labrador retriever riding with him in the bow. I felt pretty smug as he backed away from my boat, thinking I had gotten away with something. The officer looked back over his shoulder, though, and said, 'You better get that registration renewed because it goes out in two days.'

"I could have fainted," said Lindsey. "How he even saw that tag I'll never know, but I thought it had expired the week before. I learned not to fool with these boys; they know their stuff."

A Bit of Rainy-Day Humor

A woman went into a WalMart to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday. She didn't know which one to get, so she just grabbed one and took it to the counter, where an associate, wearing dark shades, was standing. She said, "Excuse me, sir, but can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?"

The associate replied, "Ma'am, I'm completely blind, but if you'll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound it makes."

She didn't believe him but dropped it on the counter anyway.

He immediately said, "That's a 6-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-lb. test line. It's a good all-around combination, and it's on sale this week for $20."

"It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound it made dropping onto the counter," she responded. "I'll take it."

As she opened her purse, the lady's credit card dropped on the floor.

"Oh, that sounds like a Visa card," said the associate.

As the lady bent down to pick it up, she accidentally broke wind. At first embarrassed, she then figured the blind clerk probably hadn't heard it, and even if he had, he likely would just have thought it was from someone else standing nearby.

Meanwhile, the clerk rang up the sale and said, "That'll be $34.50, please."

Now the woman was totally confused and asked, "Didn't you tell me the rod and reel was on sale for $20? How did you get $34.50?"

He replied, "Yes, Ma'am. The rod and reel is $20, but the duck call is $11, and the catfish bait is $3.50."

It Was a Bill Savage Kind of Day

Bill Savage was before some of you younger fellas' time. In a nutshell, he was a white perch fisherman...and a good one, too. He knew where to go and when to go there for some of the prettiest white perch any fish-eating angler ever could want.

Bill used to keep his boat in the back boat barn at West Neck Marina, and he went fishing at every opportunity. Unfortunately, he had some health issues that demanded his wife or a fishin' buddy always accompany him when he hit the water. Both Bill and his wife have been gone for several years now, but I've never forgotten the man who knew a thing or two about how to catch white perch.

The reason I was reminded of him during my trip to West Neck today was because, in the first 15 minutes I was on the water, I caught five of the nicest white perch I've seen since Bill left us. Every one of them had big fat bellies that looked like they might pop open if I squeezed them just a tad. Unlike Bill, I hustled all of them back in the water.

I caught all five of the white perch on either a crankbait or jerkbait. They were hitting both at will...and almost as soon as the bait hit the water.

After those busy 15 minutes, though, the water went silent, and I never felt another bite for the rest of the day, which I called a halt to at about 1:15 or so. Talked to one other angler in a Tracker, who told me he had started way up West Neck this morning. He, too, had caught a couple of white perch, along with a couple of bass, but was lamenting that, once the stronger winds kicked up, his bite had disappeared, as well.

The water temp when I started this morning was over 50 degrees. Some of the water looked nice, but other sections left a bit to be desired.

In closing here, let me caution anyone who hasn't been on the grounds at West Neck in a while. Management has let the roadway deteriorate considerably this winter, so slow down when you turn into the entrance, or you may break a spring or two. The lip of the ramp also is in bad shape again.

'Til next time, Tight Lines! to one and all.

A Bit of Rainy-Day Humor

Mick was talking to his mates at the fishing club and explaining that he couldn't go on their planned fishing trip because his wife wouldn't let him. His mates gave him some stiff ribbing about being under her thumb, and Mick shuffled off home feeling miserable.

When all the fishing buddies later showed up at the fishing spot, they discovered Mick already was there, fishing away contentedly. Astonished at seeing him, they asked Mick how he had persuaded his wife to let him come and join them.

"Well, it's like this," explained Mick. "I went home and slumped down in my easy chair with a glass of wine to drown my sorrows at not being able to make the trip. Then, however, the missus sneaked up behind me, covered my eyes, and said, 'Surprise!' and when I looked, she was standing there in a beautiful, see-through negligee.

"She said, 'Carry me to the bedroom, tie me to the bed, and you can do whatever you want...' So here I am!!!"

Bragging Rights and Maybe a Little Gas Money...Occasionally...

Those are the stakes involved for weekend warriors, despite the fact that, for the most part, they are every bit as dedicated as the big-time pros when it comes to their bass fishing.

Weekenders get up just as early for tournaments, and sometimes there's a drive involved, but there are no sponsors, no paid entry fees, and the tackle all comes at their own expense. If they happen to win place money, they "might" make enough to fill the gas tank on their boat or vehicle, but likely not both.

Once in a great while, they hit it bigger and actually end up with some leftover spending money in their pockets...but, by and large, that's the exception, not the rule.

Matt Myers of Greeneville, TN (population about 15,500, as recent as 2021) is one of us weekend warriors. Having played sports all his life, culminating in a baseball scholarship to college, he always has had a competitive edge. Today, he fishes anywhere from 20 to 30 bass tournaments each year. For the most part, these are local events, where the competition is tougher than some folks might think.

Some fishing contests take him out of state on occasion, but the vast majority of his tournament life occurs no farther west than Dale Hollow Lake and primarily in the rich waters of east Tennessee.

Myers' first big tournament win came in December 2006, when he and his partner, Kelley Ricker, took top honors at Dale Hollow Lake. It was only the duo's second Horse Creek Billy Westmoreland Memorial Smallmouth Invitational tournament. They had gotten their feet wet the previous year.

Their day-1 sack (the only four-fish limit of the event), which weighed in at 13.50 lbs., included two fish over the 21-inch mark and two smallmouth under 16 inches, the most allowed per day by the Dale Hollow slot limit for two fishermen. The heaviest of their two trophy fish weighed a whopping 5.39 lbs. and netted the team $580 for the first-day big fish.

Said Myers, "We caught the big fish and one of the smaller ones in the first 30 minutes Saturday morning. After that, we spent the rest of the day trying to cull the last small keeper."

Ricker explained that their team had targeted the fish with "a small jig" while fishing "main-lake points on the lower end" of the lake, adding that "it was tough out there."

Myers and Ricker finished the event with only one small fish on Sunday, but it was enough to hand them the $1,540 first-place purse, with a total of 14.77 lbs.

Most of the time that Myers puts in on lakes is spent either fishing a bass tournament or practicing for one. He primarily hits the water to keep on top of bass movements. Before a tournament, he'll make sure not to give too many of the fish a sore mouth, concentrating instead on eliminating as much water as possible.

"It's more important to pattern them than to catch them just before a tournament," he said.

Myers' usual game plan is to fish tournament waters the weekend before, then take a day off from work on Friday before it happens.

"If you put up your entry fee, you'd better be planning on winning the tournament," he explained. "Winning is what it's all about...even in the local rodeos or wildcats. The competitors are all good fishermen."

The competition in east Tennessee is stiff, mainly because the majority of anglers involved have grown up on the local waters.

"There's a passion at any level of tournament fishing," said Myers. "Many workplaces sponsor local tournaments and club events around most bodies of water anywhere in Tennessee. The small tournaments are where you'll find friends and buddies competing for pride."

He encourages anyone wanting to get into competitive bass fishing to get their feel wet at the local level.

"It's important to get started around friends because they'll help you out," he said. "They'll often bend over backwards on the front end to help you get started. At the big levels, everyone is tight-lipped (I got news for you: The same thing happens at the weekend-warrior level, too!). The most important factor is that buddy tournaments will make you a better bass fisherman in the long run because you learn so much with on-the-water experience.

"In fact," he added, "local tournaments or club events can lead to bigger events once you gain that experience. Everybody, from the big names on down, had to start somewhere. The small events sometimes can be the toughest, with only three- or four-hour time limits. That helps you build your confidence, and you just expand on it from there."

A Bit of Rainy-Day Humor

Two blondes rented a fishing boat and were having a great day catching fish.

The first blonde said, "This is such a great spot. We need to mark it, so we can come back to it again.

The second blonde proceeded to put a mark on the side of the boat.

The first blonde asked, "What are you doing?"

The second blonde replied, "Marking the spot."

"Don't be stupid," responded the first blonde. "What if we don't get the same boat next time?"

What's Luck Got To Do With It?

Apparently not much if we're talking about bass fishing, and the person doing the talking is Rick Clunn, who ranks at the top of the ladder in the minds of many professionals and recreational anglers. He sees bass fishing as a learning process that simply "never ends."

"If you are ever going to get into bass fishing seriously, you've got to forget one thing: Luck has little or nothing to do with it," he said. "Fishing is an art and a science. It can be learned. The level you achieve in it is up to you."

There's nothing new about Clunn's stance. He always has said he doesn't believe luck plays any part in fishing.

As he explained, "You hear people say they blew their engine and that it was bad luck, but blowing an engine also could be attributed to negligence of maintenance."

Clunn always has said the key to his success is not necessarily his ability to catch fish. Rather, it's his ability to find them. Before he ever leaves home, he has put together a method to locate the fish once he arrives at the lake.

"You get a map," he said, "and think about the water you must contend with. Fish aren't everywhere."

He also says that confidence and concentration have played a large part in his success. He remembers even the tiny details, like how he retrieves his lures, especially if he's going to try something different.

"Small bass often are stragglers, and a school may not be far away," he continued. "Herons and egrets concentrated in an area may mean baitfish, which means bass in the area."

It's things like Clunn's offbeat tactics with plastic worms that sometimes can fool the bass. He'll change it up by retrieving it like a topwater lure. He also thinks positively and always pays attention to details. He's one of the first to become known for his success in fishing seasonal patterns, then developing general patterns from those. He stresses the importance of finding fish...a lesson many fishermen now realize the importance of.

A favorite old saying with Clunn is this one: "Show me where to find bass, and I'll show you 20 fishermen who can catch them."

He wholeheartedly believes that finding bass or any fish species is the hardest part of fishing.

A Bit of Rainy-Day Humor

Jack decided to go fishing with his buddy, Bob. They loaded up Jack's mini-van and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard and pulled off the road at a nearby farm to see if they might be able to spend the night. An attractive lady answered the door when they knocked and said they were welcome to stay but that they would have to sleep in the barn. She had been recently widowed and didn't want to chance any neighbors talking.

Jack said, "Don't worry. We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light."

The two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night. Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of fishing.

About nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney...one who, as he quickly discovered, was representing that attractive widow who had allowed him and his buddy to spend that night in her barn. Subsequently, Jack dropped in on his friend, Bob, and asked if he remembered that lady.

"Yes, I do," said Bob.

"Did you happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house, and pay her a visit?" asked Jack.

"Yes," said Bob, a little embarrassed about being found out. "I have to admit that I did."

"And did you happen to use my name, instead of telling her your name?" questioned Jack.

Bob's face turned red, and he said, "Yeah, sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did. Why do you ask?"

"Well," said Jack, "she just died and left me everything."

"Neither a Borrower Nor a Lender Be"

Should that well-known proverbial expression from William Shakespeare's Hamlet be taken seriously? Or should we perhaps take the expression...and the sentiment it expresses...with a pinch of proverbial salt?

In the case of an angler I read about recently...Kevin (left) is his name...he saw fit to take the latter option expressed above.

After getting permission to fish a cow pond on a friend's property, he borrowed everything he would need, including a boat, an old spincast reel mounted on something akin to a really ugly Ugly Stik strung a decade earlier with 10-pound mono, and a rusty-bladed H&H lure that had a dry-rotted skirt. Having launched the boat just ahead of a storm, Kevin only had made two casts when he landed a bigger bass than most anglers will see in a lifetime...the 9-lb. largemouth you see in the accompanying photo. And then he left the scene to beat the rain.

The lesson here, of course, is to pay attention to ponds, which, incidentally, are plentiful. According to the U.S. Geological Survey, somewhere between 2.6 and 9 million ponds dot America's landscape--mostly in the eastern Great Plains and the Southeast. In other words, we're talking about agriculture country. Texas alone, for example, claims 840,000 of these "tanks," as some people refer to them. In some places, you can find more than 10 ponds per square mile.

Ponds have been purpose-built to meet the water needs of farms and ranches, so half-acre to 15-acre impoundments are common. For fly tossers (aspiring or otherwise), pond levees and banks without trees are great places to learn how to cast a fly rod. And despite what some folks may tell you, panfish and largemouth are a blast to catch on a fly.

As one pro tournament bass angler allowed, "I like fishing ponds because the fish are usually unpressured and, therefore, pretty catchable. It's really a good way to build your confidence in baits and techniques."

Some farm ponds are ignored. Maybe they were built 50 years ago. Maybe the pond has been forgotten about since the farm went out of business 20 years ago.

Texas A&M estimates that 80 percent of ponds in Texas hold fish--comprised mostly of bass and channel cats. While not every pond holds big bass and big channel cats, some do, and there can be no greater thrill than having one of those "big boys/girls" smash a small popper.

As that pro tournament bass angler noted, "Bet on catching a lot of small ones but hope for the big ones, because things do fall into place sometimes.

"At the same time, however, be aware that some ponds are seasonal and hold no fish. Bait sprays, rise ripples, great blue herons, kingfishers, and other such indicators are good signs of fish. And, of course, a landowner likely will know if the pond ever was stocked, though there's no accounting for accidental stocking by tornadoes, floods, and maybe even aerial avian supplementation."

As that same pro continued, "Don't get too worked up over lure selection. Keep it simple. Remember that seen-better-days H&H lure? Think top, middle and bottom. Start with some topwater stuff. Then rig up to work below the surface with a crankbait, spinnerbait or other lure you can run mid-column. Finally make a run with something that tickles the mud, like a soft plastic rigged with a weight in your preferred configuration: Texas rig, Carolina rig, dropshot, Ned rig, wacky rig, etc. If you haven't caught anything by now, it's probably them, not you, so head off to another spot."

How to fish a pond is a matter of choice. A canoe, kayak, jon boat, tube, or bass buggy are all possibilities. A lot of people also fish ponds by wading the shallows or walking the bank. Just be aware that there's usually a deep side and a shallow side.

Since ponds fish pretty quickly, it's best to get permission to fish a number of ponds in an area and develop a circuit. And if you would like to keep a few to eat, just make sure you first ask about that, too. Simultaneously, it might be worth your while to offer some meat or other compensation to the property owner, as well, especially if you are thinking about a return trip. It's all about not wearing out your welcome.

A Bit of Rainy-Day Humor

A dinner conversation gone wrong...

WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?"
HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"
WIFE: "Why not? Don't you like being married?"

HUSBAND: "Of course I do."

WIFE: "Then, why wouldn't you remarry?"

HUSBAND: "OK, I'd get married again."

WIFE: "You would?" (with a hurtful look on her face)

HUSBAND: (makes loud groan)

WIFE: "Would you let her sleep in our bed?"

HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"

WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"

HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."

WIFE: "Would you go fishing with her?"

HUSBAND: "I guess so."

WIFE: "Would you let her use my fishing rods?"

HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed."

WIFE: (total silence)

HUSBAND: "Oops!"

There's Something To Be Said for Doing Things Your Way

And no one knows that better than today's crop of bass fishermen. After all, who among us don't like to fish our "comfort zone"...our "happy place"?

Perhaps your comfort zone is a 6-inch curl-tail worm fished on 12-lb. test line, with a 1/8-ounce unpegged weight, unless you happen to be skipping the bait. You probably use other techniques, too, but will keep this worm rig within easy reach on the deck and ready to go in a split second, even if you don't start with it.

The idea behind fishing in your comfort zone is so you can make adjustments quickly and efficiently when necessary.

As noted by bass pro Bill Lowen, "It becomes a part of your nature. If/when the fish move, you move with them. If/when they change their mood, you change your presentation."

Granted, pros often have to move outside their comfort zone (e.g., such as when they have to fish an unfamiliar lake). Lowen admitted that making adjustments in these situations can be confusing, but you have no other choice other than to learn when you're fishing at the pro level.

"You simply cannot be successful here as a one-trick pony," he explained. "It's not that we can't be successful when we're out of our comfort zone. It's that we do better in it.

"I'm never afraid to start shallow," he continued. "I believe in myself and my shallow-water skills. I encourage you to do the same, whichever bait or technique puts you in your comfort zone."

In bass fishing, little to nothing compares to that feeling of working your favorite stretch of water on your home fishery. Whether it's a farm pond, stream, river, or major body of water, anglers find it hard to match the comfort and confidence of fishing their "juice" on known waters. No matter the conditions, you constantly expect to feel that tug at the end of your line.

Imagine having a similar comforting feeling all the time, on any fishery, all over the country. You'd think an angler who harnesses that comfort and confidence would be able to catch them most anywhere and everywhere, and for the most part, you'd be right.

Seasoned anglers don't try 20 different lures and/or techniques that the fish should be biting. Instead, they stick to what they know and make it work, regardless of the body of water, the conditions, or time of year.

Whether you favor shallow-water power fishing like some pros, or you would rather use your electronics and fish offshore, make a habit of giving your comfort zone a chance next time you go fishing...regardless of where it is. The time of year and transitional phase the fish are in certainly moves them around, but it's worth trying to fish with what you're confident in, no matter the conditions or the fishery.

You're likely to find that you can apply "a little home cookin'" to most any body of water throughout the year. It will give you confidence to stick with proven techniques longer and find ways to apply them to different bodies of water. Many guys in professional bass fishing go on stretches of top finishes because they carry one technique from lake to lake and keep making it work through confidence and that comfort with what they are doing is the right thing for their fishing.

Remembering a Fishing Buddy

While checking the obituary page of this morning's The Virginian-Pilot, I came across a name from the past that I still vividly remember. It seems we lost fellow bass fisherman, John Matyiko, Jr., on Feb. 8, 2023.

The accompanying photo is of John and his grandson, Hayden Capper, taken Saturday, June 28, 2014, after they had taken first place in the Dewey Mullins Memorial Bass Tournament held that day at West Neck Marina.

Born July 27, 1942, to John and Isabel Matyiko, "Big John," as he was popularly known, along with his brothers, were owners of Expert House Movers, which have relocated many historical structures over the years. Among those were the 1992 relocation of the Black Island Lighthouse and the 1999 relocation of the Hatteras Lighthouse.

John was predeceased by his father, mother and brother, Joe. Survivors include his wife of nearly 62 years, Barbara, as well as his children, John Matyiko III (Cyndi), of St. Cloud, Fla.; Scott Matyiko (Tracy), of Virginia Beach; Travis Matyiko (Theresa), of Virginia Beach; and Shane Harp (Michael), also of Virginia Beach. He further is survived by 14 grandchildren and 18 great-grandchildren, as well as his brothers, Jimmy and Jerry, and his sister, Patsy Snow.

A visitation is planned today (Feb. 11), from 3 to 4 p.m., at Altmeyer Funeral Home, 5033 Rouse Dr., Virginia Beach. The funeral will start at 4 p.m., with a private burial to follow.

Tight Lines! My Friend

Rest in Peace

A Bit of Rainy-Day Humor

Three blondes were sitting by the side of a river, holding fishing poles with their lines in the water, when a game warden came up behind them, tapped them on the shoulder, and said, "Excuse me, ladies. I'd like to see your fishing licenses."

"We don't have any," replied the first blonde.

"Well, if you're going to fish, you need fishing licenses," said the game warden.

"But officer," replied the second blonde, "we aren't fishing. All we have are magnets at the end of our lines. We're collecting debris off the bottom of the river."

The game warden lifted up all the lines, and sure enough, there were horseshoe magnets tied on the end of each line.

"Well, I don't know of any law against that," said the game warden. "Take all the debris you want."

And with that, the game warden left. As soon as he was out of sight, the three blondes started laughing hysterically.

"What a dumb fish cop," said the second blonde. "Doesn't he know there are steelhead in this river?"

Never in a Million Years or for a Million Dollars!!!

The latest copy of Jay Kumar's BassBlaster included the above photo, along with this accompanying question: "If you found your boat looking like this, would you head out or leave 'er on the trailer and hit YouTube?" Can't speak for anyone else, but I know without a doubt what I'd do. Under far less extreme conditions, I've many times rolled over, shut off the alarm, and gone right back to sleep. Fishing is supposed to be fun...not misery!!!

A Bit of Rainy-Day Humor

An 80-year-old man went to the doctor for a check-up. The doctor was amazed at what good shape the guy was in and asked, "How do you stay in such great physical condition?"

"I'm a fisherman," said the old guy. "I'm up well before daylight and out fishing up and down the river."

"Well," said the doctor, "I'm sure that helps, but there has to be more to it. How old was your dad when he died?"

"Who said my dad was dead?" asked the 80-year-old.

The doctor now was amazed. "You mean you're 80 years old, and your dad's still alive? How old is he?"

"He's 100," came the old fisherman's reply. "In fact, he's a fisherman, too, and went with me this morning."

"Well," said the doctor, "that's great, but surely there's more to it than that. How about your dad's dad? How old was he when he died?"

"Who said my grandpa's dead?"

"Stunned, the doctor asked, "You mean you're 80 years old, and your grandfather still is living? That's incredible. How old is he?"

"He's 118," said the old fisherman.

The doctor was getting frustrated at this point and said, "So, I suppose he went fishing with you this morning, as well?"

"No, Grandpa couldn't go this morning because he's getting married today."

At this point, the doctor was close to losing it. "Getting married, you say? Why would a 118-year-old guy want to get married?"

"Who said he wanted to?"

Bass Tournament Date Change

Just heard from Gabe Himmelwright that the Boundary Bass Club is changing its tournament date from Sunday, Feb. 12 to Saturday, Feb. 11, in an effort to avoid the rainy and windy conditions predicted for Sunday. Check their website at www.boundarybassclub.com for updates.

A Bit of Rainy-Day Humor

Billy and Cletus were out fishing when one of them thought he had hooked a huge one. When he pulled his catch up to the boat, though, he realized it was an old lamp...but not just any old lamp. Suddenly, there was a poof! sound, and a genie appeared, asking the two fishermen for a wish.

"Turn this whole lake into beer!" shouted Billy.

The genie subsequently clapped his hands, and the whole pond turned to beer...and the genie disappeared.

Cletus then looked at Billy and said, "You idiot! Now we gotta pee in the boat!"

For First Outing of 2023, No Complaints

Things finally came together today, and I was able to get back on the water for about five hours. Water temp when I left the dock about 9:30 read a bit above 47 degrees. Only one other rig was in the parking lot when I arrived this morning, plus there was one fella fishing from the bank when I launched.

Threw spinnerbaits, crankbaits and a jerkbait today and ended with a total of seven bass and one white perch in the boat. Also lost two more bass that came unhooked beside the boat and missed setting the hook on a couple more strikes that I had throughout the day. Five of the bass went a pound or better, led by my last fish of the day that weighed in at 2-1.

After the long layoff, I absent-mindedly left the house this morning without my camera, so didn't get any pictures of the fish I caught. Will try to remember the full routine next time, even if it requires my making up a written list ahead of time. Doesn't seem to take very long to forget a routine when weeks pass in between outings.

With some rather serious rain in the forecast for the immediate future, looks like I'll likely be laid up again for a spell...probably all the way through this coming weekend. Certainly will try, though, to get back out at least one day next week, be the good Lord willing.

A Bit of Rainy-Day Humor

Richard and Tommy went on a fishing trip. They rented all the equipment they would need, including the rods, wading suits, rowboat, car, and even a cabin in the woods. In short, they spent a fortune!

On the first day of fishing, they didn't catch anything. The same thing happened on the second and third days, as well. It continued going like this until, finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the two caught a fish.

As they were driving home, they were really depressed. Richard turned to Tommy and said, "Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us 15 hundred bucks?"

Tommy replied, "Wow! Then it's a good thing we didn't catch any more!"