Will Someone Please Tell Me WTF Is Going On?

The Navy first tried to freeze my butt in Adak, Alaska, and when that didn't work, they tried cooking it in Manama, Bahrain...again to no avail. Now I feel like I'm living in a d**n rainforest (be assured I don't need any more "shriveling" at my age). What the h-e-double hockey sticks can possibly be next?

Oh, I just got my answer to that question. Take a gander at what our local fishin' hole looks like this morning, courtesy of Tom at West Neck (and in case you're interested: yes, the store is flooded...again):

Don't know about the rest of you, but I, for one, am d**n sick and tired of all the friggin' rain and playing with this "yo-yo," otherwise known as the North Landing River. I just wish I could take a giant dump on the whole thing and then flush it all away in one fell swoop.

And now that I've said my piece, please pardon me while I go back to my snack of nails and razor blades.