I Fish You a Merry Christmas

By Kimberly Squyres

While clawing and gasping my way through the holiday hustle and bustle of the store the other day, I wasn't exactly feeling the holiday cheer...that is, until I saw someone wearing a T-shirt bearing a message that rang clearer than the silver bells of Christmas. It read: "Shopping with your husband is like hunting with the game warden."

Maybe it's because I was at a Target store and saw symbols of red bulls-eyes all around, but I temporarily was transported from my retail hell and actually took a moment for a little chuckle. And for that moment, I almost forgot about the overplaying of "Deck the Halls" on the loudspeaker and, for that matter, about decking the people around me.

Don't get me wrong; I'm no Grinch or Scrooge, but I can only take so much pushing and shoving and temper tantrums of spoiled children screaming all around. Nothing like a little bit of tinsel and a limited supply of hot holiday toys to bring out the best in everyone. Instead of holiday cheer, however, it brings me holiday tears...but I digress.

Back to the shirt that read "shopping with your husband is like hunting with the game warden." Now I'm not here to dispute that fact--we all know it's true--but it made me think about a related parallel. I realized that hunting (or fishing, in this case) is really a lot like Christmas shopping (with or without the game warden).

Waiting. One way or another, fishing or shopping, you wait...and wait...and wait some more, whether waiting for the fish to bite your line,  or waiting in a checkout line with a big wish list in hand. They both take patience, whether you're trying to find just the right fishing spot or just the right (and closest)  parking spot. It also takes patience whether you're refraining from jerking the line too soon, or lining out that jerk who just cut you off in line at the store.

Timing. Both can, and often do take ALL DAY, whether you want it to or not (fishing--yes, please, but no to shopping all day--my feet just can't handle it). And even more, you may end up throwing it (fish or gifts) back (too small to eat) or returning it (also because it's too small--probably from all those second helpings of holiday food and Christmas cookies).

Stuff. Either way, you end up with lots of stuff, mostly that of which you (or others) don't really need. It's nice to have, but you can do without, or at least without a lot of it. Whether it's the 47 different spinnerbaits in your tackle box, or the 47 different boxes under your tree, you end up with a lot of stuff. And it often all ends up sitting around, unopened or unused, forgotten, or regifted, whether it's in the tackle box or the gift box.

Planning. For both, battle tactics are required, as is a plan and armor, whether you're battling for bass or bargains. I'm talking selecting your baits to lure in big bass, mapping out your escape route from other shoppers that are being an a** (I'll let you fill in the two blanks), cutting coupons, bargaining with retailers, checking the Solunar Tables to the sales advertisements, you gotta know what you're looking for and plan accordingly. Bring your game face, your running shoes, waders--whatever it takes. Just be ready for action.

Despite these metaphorical parallels, I'm more into "reel" life. I'll be glad when all the holiday hoopla is over, and I can get away from the stress of shopping malls and get back out on the lake and in the woods. And better yet, just save yourself some trouble...and money. Don't see red. See the beauty of the blue lake and skies, instead. Maybe instead of partaking in all the commercialism of Christmas, give a gift that no nature- or lake-lover can turn down, or, for that matter, return the one on everyone's wish list--fish.

Forget the lines and get a life, or change one. Take someone fishing--a little adventure they won't forget, or heck, you could even give them a fish. Start a family Christmastime tradition on the lake. Gather your friends and family for a weekend at a lake house, take pictures water skiing with Santa hats on, or go Christmas-light looking or caroling.

Besides, that's what this day is all about--family, friends, traditions, memories, and of course, Jesus is the reason for the season. And it's always the season to celebrate that, whether it's Christmas or hunting season. Good luck out there with whichever adventure you choose to take on. Merry Fishmas!

About the author: Kimberly Squyres is addicted to all things outdoors. She has dedicated her life to meeting the people that make up the place called Deep East Texas, and telling their stories and promoting their causes through pictures and the written word. When not writing, rescuing dogs, or riding horses, in her spare time, she is a full-time lecturer of communication and director of debate at Stephen F. Austin State University.