"Take the advice from a dumba$$ like me; do not test smell this product."
That was the advice of a customer who, AFTER opening a jar, mistakenly stuck it under his nose and took a deep breath of what he would later describe as "the most vile product I have ever smelled.
"It burned my nose, I gagged and nearly vomited for half an hour afterward," he said. "My wife smelled it in the other room (after a few minutes, the smell just migrated across the whole house). My dogs went crazy, trying to find what stunk."
This gent went on to compare the smell to what you probably would get if you "put a hundred dead fish in a garbage can, set it out in the hot sun for about a week, then removed the lid. "I can't believe any living creature would be attracted to this stuff, but the bass absolutely love it.
"It stays stuck on the lure for seemingly forever," he continued. "Even after removing the product, the lure still stinks. Glad I have small plastic bags to keep lures in, but they really don't keep the stench out."
So what is this product that I became all too familiar with last weekend while fishing our Classic tournament with my buddy Skip? It's called Smelly Jelly Scents. According to what I read online, these scents are among the most popular fish attractants on the market today.
"Smelly Jelly has taken the essence of each forage species and concentrated it before mixing it in a jelly base (with the consistency of Vaseline). You can use it to mask your scent after handling lures and as an attractant to bring fish to the bait," noted one advertisement.
"Try it on a jig, worm or hard bait and experience a bass that won't let go," urged another advertisement. "Choose your favorite scent, and see if it doesn't produce more bites. The Bass Feast is probably the strongest scent and one of the best sellers. Other favorites include Crawdaddy and Crawfish Anise. Try Nightcrawler on your worms and Shad Glitter on swimbaits and hardbaits."
I've smelled my share of fish attractants over the years, many of which had a strong odor, but I'm here to tell you that Smelly Jelly stands head and shoulders above all the rest. And that odor lasts...and lasts...and lasts. I never touched Skip's jar one time last weekend, but even until today--a whole week later--I still have periods when I detect that unforgettable smell. And each time, it's just as though I'm still sitting on the backseat of his boat, watching him smear on more Smelly Jelly with a cotton swab.
If you want folks to smell you coming well before they ever see you coming, just dip your finger in a jar of this stuff. I wouldn't advise it, though, if you have any intimate plans...for the next year or two.
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