Not Bad for a Second Choice...If I Do Say So Myself

I searched and searched but couldn't find a funny Halloween bass-fishing story, so I settled for this joke as told by a fellow bass fisherman. Hope it tickles your funny bone. Incidentally, I apologize in advance should anyone be offended by it.

A bald man with a wooden leg gets invited to a Halloween party. He doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg, so he writes to a costume company to explain his problem. A few days later, he receives a parcel with the following note inside:

Dear Sir,

Please find enclosed a pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and, with your wooden leg, you will be just right as a pirate.

Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Company

The man thinks this is terrible because they have emphasized his wooden leg, and so he writes a letter of complaint.

A week goes by, and he receives another parcel, along with another note that reads:

Dear Sir,

Please find enclosed a monk's costume. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and, with your bald head, you really will look the part.

Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Company

Now the man is really upset, since they have gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to emphasizing his bald head. So, again he writes the company another nasty letter of complaint.

The next day, he gets yet another small parcel and a note, which reads as follows:

Dear Sir,

We have tried our very best. Please find enclosed a bottle of molasses and a bag of crushed nuts. Pour the molasses over your bald head, pat on the crushed nuts, stick your wooden leg up your butt, and go as a caramel apple.

Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Company