In one of the chapters, author Aris Whittier takes aim at tournament directors who schedule tournaments on holidays. Her exact words are: "I feel the tournament directors that make the schedule for the tournaments don't know what a holiday is. For if they did, they would perhaps try and plan around these days that are meant to be celebrated.
"Having to spend one holiday alone with my family, I realized that I didn't have to suffer because of the lack of consideration for the festive times by the tournament directors," she continued. "If this type of situation were to repeat itself, I should be compensated for it. It's only fair."
Whittier then went on to describe her idea for a system of categories for each holiday "so my husband will fully understand the repercussion of fishing on one of these days. This system isn't a complex network," she said, "but rather a simple list that contains three categories: minor, major, and the most important holiday of them all."
As described by her, tournaments falling on minor holidays, such as St. Patrick's Day or Groundhog Day, entitled her to a new outfit. Shopping for the perfect accompanying "apparel must take all day and at least five stores to find," so she noted. And of course, "One or more girlfriends must accompany me on this shopping trip. My friends are needed at this time purely for support, because they understand the lonely pain that I must experience as a bass wife."
I imagine any of you fishermen reading this account probably already are starting to get the idea here. In case you're not, though, I'll complete the whole picture.
"Now if it's a major holiday that the tournament falls on, like Easter or Valentine's Day," explained Whittier, "this changes everything. The importance value of the holiday triples in value. This means I'm entitled to purchase precious metals. A gold bracelet usually does the trick. Once again, a girlfriend must go with me to ease the pain of having to spend a holiday alone."
I've intentionally saved the best for last here. I'm speaking, of course, about the biggest holiday of all...the wedding anniversary.
"If the tournament falls on this special day," said Whittier, "my husband has a choice of three Ds: divorce, diamonds, or don't fish the tournament. I'm proud to say that he has picked the right D so far. I'm still married, and I haven't received any diamonds since the day he proposed."
I reckon bass anglers in general have a pretty solid idea about what constitutes a "bridge too far" when it comes to fishing on some holidays. However, I would doubt (make that hope) that few find themselves under the kind of rigid rules laid out by this author.
Anyway, here's wishing you and yours a Happy Valentine's Day!...no matter how, or with whom you choose to celebrate it.
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