I received a phone call evening before last, telling me that her 48-year-old son had died by his own hand.
According to CDC's National Center for Health Statistics, there were 44,965 recorded suicides in 2016, up from 42,773 in 2014. On average, adjusted for age, the annual U.S. suicide rate increased 24 percent between 1999 and 2014, from 10.5 to 13.0 suicides per 100,000 people, the highest rate recorded in 28 years.
In addition, more than a million others attempt it each year, and 9 million people think about it. Among teenagers and adults under 35, suicide ranks behind only accidents as the top cause of death.
The important thing to remember is that suicide is preventable. One way to help is to recognize the clues that someone may be planning to kill themselves.
Warning Signs
People who take their lives don't want to die, but to end their pain. Don't dismiss their talk of suicide as just threats. If you notice any signs that they may be thinking about harming themselves, get help. Here are clues to watch for:
Becomes withdrawn. The person avoids close friends and family, loses interest in activities and social events, and becomes isolated.
Focuses on death. Some people talk openly about wanting to die. Or they fixate on the topic of death and dying. They may research ways to kill themselves or buy a gun, knife or pills.
Shows despair. The person may talk openly about unbearable pain, or feeling like they're a burden on others.
Makes plans. The person may take steps to prepare for death, like updating a will, giving away stuff, and saying goodbye to others. Some may write a suicide note.
Shows swings in mood or sleep. Often, the person may be depressed, anxious, sad, or angry. They also may be very irritable, moody or aggressive. But they can suddenly turn calm once they've decided to go through with the suicide. Then they may sleep a lot more or a lot less than usual.
Drinks or takes drugs. Substance abuse raises the chance of suicide. Using a lot of drugs and alcohol may be an attempt to dull the pain or to harm themselves.
Acts recklessly. The person may take dangerous chances, like driving drunk or having risky sex.
How to Help
* Take all suicide warning signs seriously. Your involvement and support may help save a life. Don't be afraid to ask whether your loved one is thinking of suicide, is depressed, or has problems. A frank conversation won't make the person act on their feelings. In fact, talk can help ease suicidal thoughts.
* Encourage the person to talk to a mental-health professional as soon as possible. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is always open. You can reach a trained counselor at 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255).
* If someone is threatening to kill themselves, do not leave them alone. Call 911 or, if you can do it safely, take them to the nearest emergency room. Try to keep the person calm and get help from others.
All that being said, I should point out that having to deal with two suicides isn't the only thing Carol has had on her plate. She also learned not long ago that her older brother's dementia has progressed to the point where he now must be confined to a nursing home. He no longer recognizes anyone, including his sister or his wife, who, coincidentally, now is totally blind.
The children's game of "pile on" may have been fun back in the day, but this kind of "pile on" is no game, and it certainly isn't any fun. I can't imagine the stress my cousin must be feeling at the moment. I can only hope the prayers I've been soliciting on her behalf since she called prove to be helpful in sustaining her through this latest tragedy.
I realize this story has no relationship to the usual subject matter of this blog. However, I saw an opportunity to address a widespread problem, and when it comes to family, I don't hesitate to say what I feel. Hope you understand, but if you don't, that's OK, too. As I see a lot of fellow bloggers post from time to time, "It's my blog, so I can say anything I want"...within reason, of course.
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