In any event, it doesn't take much of an imagination to come up with many responses similar to the preceding. However, let's look at some common indications that a person is elderly, old, decrepit, over the hill, or however else you choose to delineate someone who is past their prime. The following slightly edited list was devised by veteran angler Bud Kennedy:
* Hitting the boat when you try to pee off the deck.
* Going to bed right after the tonight show was over.
* Suffering retribution from eating spicy food.
* Paying more for a new boat than you did for your first two houses.
* Talking about after-school jobs that you once worked.
* Listening to music that didn't all sound like noise.
* Looking at a face in the mirror that you hardly recognize.
* Can't sleep through the night without having to go to the bathroom.
* Doing jobs around the house now takes days, instead of hours.
* Picking your fishing days carefully--comfy temps with no rain and little wind.
* Having trouble reading the fine print on your prescriptions.
* Going to college graduations and marriages of your grandchildren.
* Getting haircuts and shaves no longer seem important.
* Visiting a doctor who's younger than you.
* What you're hearing isn't what's being said.
* No more candles on your birthday cake...because they set off smoke detectors.
* Unable to recall the last time you ever had sex.
Kennedy went on to note that he remembers a time when it was believed that you didn't have to get old if you just exercised mind over matter.
"That turned out to be a bit of bovine excrement," though, he said.
While accepting the realities of his age, Kennedy is quick to point out he still plans to get the most out of life, especially when it comes to fishing.
"I don't go blasting down the lake at 70 mph any more," he said, "and I suppose the day is coming when taking the boat out at all will be just a memory, but hopefully that won't be for a while yet."
Kennedy went on to note that he already has plans to do some pier fishing when he has to give up his bass boat.
"I'll have a nice comfy chair, a snack to eat, and drinks to keep me hydrated," he said. "I'll set up my rods and just watch the ocean roll by."
Kennedy also had this message for all folks hitting the elderly ranks:
"Hang in there. Sure you ache a bit, and your physical condition may not be all that good, but keep going as best you can. At least, you still can get in the great outdoors, even if it is only for a few hours. As has been said by others, 'Getting old ain't for sissies,' but don't let that bring you down. This is the time to enjoy the day the best you can and remember what once was. Just think: If they ever invent a time machine, we can all go back and do it all over again."
Speaking for myself, there are a few things I'd like to change if possible before hopping into a time machine.
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