It's Always About the Big 'Uns

Most of us probably have heard the Biblical tale of Jonah and the whale--the one where God asked Jonah to go to a place called Nineveh and tell the people living there to stop being bad.

The only problem was that Jonah didn't want to help the people there. He knew they were bad and wanted them to be punished for their mistakes.

So, instead of listening to God, Jonah decided to run away from Nineveh. He ran to the sea and found a ship that was going to another city. He paid the captain, then went in the lower part of the ship to sleep.

Shortly after the ship left the shore, a very bad storm came up and started tossing the ship around. The captain soon went to find Jonah, who still was asleep. He told Jonah to pray for help.

Meanwhile, the other sailors decided the storm was Jonah's fault, so they cornered him and asked what he had done.

Jonah admitted he was running away from something God had asked him to do and told them the storm would stop if they threw him into the sea. Not wanting to hurt Jonah, though, the sailors put him in a rowboat and tried to row him away from the ship. The storm only got worse, however, so they eventually picked up Jonah and threw him into the sea.

Immediately, the storm calmed, and the sea became still. But as the sailors were watching Jonah out on the sea, a whale came and swallowed him. God actually sent the fish to keep Jonah from drowning.

He stayed in the fish for three days and three nights. In that time, Jonah asked God to forgive him for running away and thanked God for not allowing him to drown.

After the third day, God had the whale spit Jonah onto dry land. He then went to Nineveh and told the people about what had happened to him and warned them to stop being bad, and they listened. For a while, though, Jonah was angry that God hadn't punished the people. He went on a hill to sulk until God explained to him that He loves everyone and would rather they turn from their evil ways than to punish them for it.

Seems a preacher had told this story one Sunday morning during the worship service, and as the congregation was leaving, one gent stopped and said to the pastor, "That's a good fish story, but I have a good one, too."

The pastor responded, "By all means, tell me."

"Some buddies and I, who enjoy bass fishing, have always liked to fish a certain lake," said the gent. "The only problem was it had little cover. We decided to sink some old cars, so the fish would have a place to hide. A few years later, I hooked the biggest bass I ever had had on my line. I knew he was huge because he jumped in the air as I was fighting him. What a bass he was! However, he eventually turned toward those old cars and got hung up about 6 feet down."

"What did you do?" asked the preacher.

"I wasn't going to let one that big get away without doing everything I could to land him."

"So, what did you do?" again asked the preacher, who was beginning to feel like he was being strung along, much like that fish.

"I stripped off my shirt, handed my billfold and my rod and reel to my friend, and jumped in," the gent finally replied.

"What happened next?" the pastor asked.

"I found the line and followed it," replied the gent. "Sure enough, it led down to one of the old cars we had sunk years earlier."

"Did you get him?" the pastor questioned.

"I would have," the gent said, "but every time I reached toward the car, he rolled up the window."

Maybe you've heard that one before--maybe you haven't. In any event, hope you were entertained at least a little bit.