Be Careful What (or Whom) You Call an "Old Bag"

That well could be the intended moral of the Pickles comic strip in this morning's The Virginian-Pilot.

In the first frame, you see Opal rifling through one of her husband Earl's dresser drawers and asking, "What are all these old Ziploc bags doing in your drawer?"

In the second frame, Earl replies, "I don't know. I guess I just like to keep old bags."

In the third frame, you see Opal giving Earl "that look." You know the one I'm talking about; it's the same one all wives give their husbands at one time or another. They don't say a word, but you get all kinds of vibes--none of which give you a warm and fuzzy feeling.

In the fourth and last frame, Opal asks, "Would you like to add anything else to that comment?" Old Earl only can sputter, "Nope! Nope! Nope!" as he high-tails it for safer ground.

My wife chuckled out loud when she read Pickles this morning, and so did I, because I, too, have Ziploc bags strewn all around our home. To the best of my knowledge, I don't have any in my dresser drawers, but there are plenty in other places, especially my fishin' closet, my tackleboxes,  and nearly everywhere you look in the garage.

I gotta believe that nearly every bass fisherman alive has his/her fair share of Ziploc bags for storing soft plastics and every conceivable kind of miscellaneous items. I nearly always have a stock of pint-, quart- and gallon-size freezer bags on hand--I use them because they're heavier and tend to last longer than plain ol' clear-plastic storage bags.

As a result, it's entirely possible I could find myself in the same situation as Earl. However, I want to believe that I'd be more careful than to use the term "old bag" in my wife's presence. Let's just say I lack the chutzpah of my Granddad Testorff, who once walked up to a woman in our little hometown and said, "You know--you don't look as haggardly as you used to." He got away with making that statement without so much as a slap.

If I, on the other hand, ever were to create even a shred of confusion for my wife by using the term "old bag" the wrong way in her presence, I'd likely find more knots than the hereditary ones on my noggin'. Therefore, I tread lightly.