Giving New Meaning to "Break"-Dancing

Photo by David A. Brown

I feel pretty sure most of us still can remember a younger Mike Iaconelli break-dancing on the bow of his bass boat, among a few other antics that have gained him a lot of notoriety over the years, but he's not the subject of this post. And, yes, I know at least some of you are breathing a huge sigh of relief about now.

Rather, this story is about anyone and everyone who's ever had an up-close and personal encounter with a bass boat after it has been exposed to a heavy frost, dense fog, rain, snow, sleet, hail, or any mixture of those conditions. For that matter, if you're one of us who religiously wipe down our rigs with Bass Boat Saver, you, too, very well may have already or one day will find yourself doing a little "break"-dance of your own. I emphasize "break," only because you might really end up breaking something--like a bone, piece of gear, or perhaps both.

In other words, the victims' moves likely won't be nearly as graceful as some of those you're apt to see on the ice at MacArthur Center Mall this time of year. If anything, they'll probably more closely resemble what you would find in an old Laurel & Hardy movie. And, yeah, I'm aware some readers won't know who Laurel & Hardy were. To those, I would say this: Just accept the fact they were popular comedians in a bygone era.

Falling "down," however, isn't your only worry if your "skating exhibition" happens to occur on the slippery deck or gunwale of a bass boat. You also have to be concerned about falling "overboard." Or as John Goodman, director of the local Goody's Big Bass Tournaments, called an incident that occurred back on Dec. 1, 2012, it's a "water-safety demonstration." Actually, that event was a case of an angler doing his best imitation of "the splits" but coming up short.

Here's what happened, in the victim's own words: "As I remember, we had had several days of warmer weather leading up to the Bob's Fishing Hole Saturday tournament, and when I arrived at the ramp that morning, there was a better-than-normal turnout, and all the dock space at Bob's was occupied by tournament boats.

"I was fishing alone and launched the boat and tied it off to the end of the dock closest to the ramp. It was tied off with the point of the bow facing the end of the dock. After parking my truck, I returned to the dock and attempted to step from the end of the dock onto the bow of the boat--in that small open area of deck next to the trolling motor. There was just enough slack in the rope tied to the dock that the boat moved a foot or so out from the dock, leaving me in the precarious 'split' position. My foot slipped off the dock, as the boat moved farther away, and into the water, I went."

Unfortunately, that's not the whole story. The victim apparently grabbed the Gamakatsu trebles on a rattletrap with his left hand on the way into the water. He never felt the hooks go into his left thumb and index finger. In fact, he didn't know he had been hooked until he saw blood running down his hand. As it turned out, he also had an inch-and-a-half cut on his right wrist, which he didn't notice until he got home. He thinks the cut (superficial) probably was caused by the trolling-motor blades. Other reminders of what had happened included severe bruising on his wrist and a large blood blister on the end of his right middle finger (no idea what caused the latter).

The rattletrap was attached to a brand new Revo SX3 and an Abu-Garcia Veritas, both of which went overboard. Thankfully, though, the victim was able to recover both. Icing on this cake was the fact he also had his cellphone and wallet in his pocket when he fell into the water.

Despite everything that happened, the good-natured victim mustered a big "thank you" to Roger Armentrout, who stayed with him and helped him trailer his boat before blasting off for the tournament. The victim also had a big vote of thanks for James at Bob's Fishing Hole for the dry towel and bandages for his thumb and finger.


Photo by Dave Anderson

Anyone who takes a tumble overboard, though, especially if the water happens to be cold, may have even more worries than the fall and any accompanying injuries. A major concern always is hypothermia. It and cold-water immersion, according to the U.S. Coast Guard, can occur in water no cooler than 70 degrees at any time of the year. Even on a warm and sunny day, a sudden and unexpected fall into cold water for as little as 30 minutes can result in hypothermia--and if you're not wearing a life jacket, even can lead to a life-threatening situation in as little as three to five minutes. The water doesn't have to be icy; it just has to be colder than the victim to cause hypothermia.

Most, if not all, boating-safety education professionals agree that the one single thing that would contribute the most to reducing deaths and saving lives would be wearing life jackets. Statistics show time and time again that many boating fatalities could have been avoided if the victim only had been wearing a life jacket. Wearing a life jacket while boating is like wearing a seat belt when driving or riding in a car. Wear one anytime you're on a boat or even near the water or on a boat dock.


Official U.S. Army photo by Sgt. Brandon Anderson

With the inflatable life-jacket technology available in the marketplace today, people over the age of 16 have a wide variety to choose from that aren't bulky, hot or uncomfortable.

Don't forget, too, that, for those boaters age 12 or younger, the law requires them to wear a life jacket (properly sized, fitted and worn to the manufacturer's specifications) anytime they're on a boat that is underway (not at anchor, made fast to the shore or aground)--even when launching or retrieving the boat.

Without a life jacket, most people die long before they become hypothermic. The jacket extends survival time not only by minimizing motion needed to stay afloat, but also by helping insulate the body.

If you suddenly find yourself in the water (with no one else around to help), stay calm and move slowly. Flailing around causes a body to lose heat faster. Head, neck, sides of the chest, and groin are the body "hot spots" that lose heat most quickly and, therefore, need to be protected the most. Here are Coast Guard suggestions to help increase your chances of survival:

     * Don't try to take off clothing in the water. A common misconception is that heavy clothing or waders weigh down your body when, in fact, they can trap air and help keep your body afloat. Instead, button, buckle, zip and tighten collars, cuffs, shoes, and hoods. If possible, cover your head; in cold water, about half the heat loss comes from the head.

     * Devote all your efforts to getting out of the water. Act quickly before you lose full use of your hands. Board a boat, raft or anything floating. Remember, most boats will support you, even when full of water.

     * Don't try to swim, unless it's to reach a nearby boat, another person, or a floating object you can climb onto or lean against. By releasing warm water between your clothing and your body and sending "warm" blood to your extremities, swimming can cut survival time by as much as 50 percent.

     * Even if it's painful, remain as still as possible. Intense shivering and severe pain in cold water are natural body reflexes. These will not kill you, but heat loss will.

     * If you're with other people, huddle together for warmth. Otherwise, hold your knees to your chest to protect your trunk from heat loss, and clasp your arms around your calves.

And while I didn't call the Coast Guard to verify it, I don't think they would condone the actions of a fella I read about while researching information online for this blog article. It seems he accidentally kicked his favorite rod over the side (in 15 feet of water) during an October 2008 tourney. He subsequently made a split-second decision to go after the rod. The water temp at the time was 60 degrees F, and the air temp was in the 50s. His "diving platform" was a Skeeter ZX 185, with a Yamaha 150 attached to the transom.

Said the angler, "After I got over the shock of hitting the water, I went to the back of the Skeeter and put my foot on the engine skeg. I then had my partner trim up the motor 'till I could flop onto the sponsoon (back of the boat that sticks out)."

It seems this trick worked well, but as the angler admitted afterward, "It would have been more difficult if I had been alone, since I was wet, slippery and bear-hugging the motor cowling." He noted, though, that he felt he would have been able to successfully use the trim control on the motor had he been by himself. "Luckily, I had an extra jacket and towels along," said the happy angler, adding, "without them, I would have had to quit the tourney."

If I'm ever faced with the same choice as that fella, there's no doubt in my mind what I'll do. I'll just suck in a deep breath, maybe shed a tear or two, then perhaps sing a line from that old Woodie Guthrie tune that goes something like this, "So long, it's been good to know yuh." And when I get home, I'll promptly place an order for a new favorite rod.