That's how a Hampton Roads sports writer characterized the Chickahominy River back in a 1993 article.
He based that opinion, in part, on all the twists and turns the river takes through the lowlands of Charles City and James City Counties to a point west of Williamsburg, where it empties into the James River. He also cited the myriad twisting and turning creeks that feed into the Chickahominy
(see aerial photo above), along with their countless blind turns.
"Every weekend...until cold weather (arrives) brings a bass-fishing tournament to the Chickahominy," said the sports writer. "Competitors roar down the narrow, twisting creeks and channels, their bass boats skimming and skittering over the surface. They roar through the blind turns, even though they have no idea what lies ahead. They are bass fishing--like it's done on TV. Get out of the way."
The writer went on to describe an incident he and a friend had experienced on the Chick the previous summer. That particular day, the water traffic included small john boats, family runabouts, boats pulling water skiers, canoes, and conventional deep-hull boats.
"Every now and then, we would hear the whine of a bass boat running at full throttle," he explained. "When entering the main river from one of the feeder streams, we learned to wait and listen. If we didn't hear that telltale whine, we would proceed. We learned to do that because one bass boat zipped by very close to us--too close.
"People who live along the Chickahominy have complained for years," the writer continued. "These residents don't want the people to stop fishing; they just want them to slow down. When you're running a boat at a high rate of speed, you have no reaction time. If there's something in the water, you're going to hit it about the same time you see it. Nor do boats have brakes; they cannot be stopped, or even slowed, quickly. People who live along the Chickahominy have seen the near-misses."
There's no denying this part of the writer's claim. For example, a boat traveling 60 mph covers 88 feet in a second--over a hundred yards in four seconds. So anytime you can't see several hundred yards ahead of the boat, particularly on a busy body of water, you're at serious risk of a collision, or possibly an "allision." That latter term is used by the Coast Guard to describe accidents in which a moving boat strikes a stationary boat or object.
The sports writer concluded his piece by advocating that tournament organizers consider a lottery format. In this format, competitors would draw for fishing sites before the tournament started, thus eliminating the race that occurs most of the time. He also suggested a penalty system to ensure safe boating, which would erase the mad dash to weigh-ins.
Running high-powered bass boats indeed is not a matter to be taken lightly. However, I think most would take exception to the idea that these boats "are not safe at any speed," as the sports writer expressed.
As some tournament pros see it, the problem isn't with the high-powered platforms that quickly take them from Point A to Point B during their 8-hour events. It's the experience level of the young people they find operating many of the same kind of high-powered boats today.
"It's funny that you have to take a driver's test to get behind the wheel of a car, but you can get into Dad's boat and run it 70-plus mph with absolutely no training at all," they say. "These boats have no mercy, and even the most seasoned operator can get in trouble if we let our guard down."
(NOTE: In 2007, the Virginia General Assembly enacted a law to establish a boating-safety-education-compliance requirement to be phased in over future years. By 2016, all operators of personal watercraft and motorboats with a 10-hp or greater motor will be required to have completed this course.)
There may be no better feeling than skating across a lake at 75 or 80 mph, but safety must be the first consideration. Take it slow and build up your confidence level. Don't make your first trip your last. Here are some rules designed to help you achieve that goal:
* Never leave the ramp without visibility of at least 200 yards.
* Remember: GPS is not radar; it shows shoreline and navigation marks but not other boats.
* Don't be distracted by your electronics while you're running; tweaking the sonar or GPS or taking a cellphone call while on plane is very risky.
* Never start the engine without your PFD on and your safety lanyard attached.
* If your bow seat obstructs your vision, take it down every time you go on plane.
* If you can't be sure of the intentions of an approaching boat, slow down and give way.
* Anytime visibility is minimal as a result of fog or rain, turn on your running lights--even during the day. This goes for even when you're stopped and fishing.
* Never make a turn without looking behind you for overtaking boats.
* Never approach another boat at high speed from behind or head-to-head at close quarters where you can't evade him if he makes a sudden turn.
* Remember that you lose forward vision in most bass rigs until the boat comes out of the hole; be especially vigilant on take-off.
* It's both illegal and stupid to operate a high-speed boat under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
* Make sure everybody stays seated anytime the boat is on plane.
* Keep a sharp eye out for tug, barge and yacht wakes; they can put a 60-mph boat airborne.
* Slow down around bridges and restricted channels where boat traffic is heavy.
* Encourage your boat partners to help keep watch for approaching traffic.
* Though your boat has no brakes, you can use the trim control to quickly slow it down. Lower the lower unit all the way as you cut power, and the boat will quickly come to a stop.
In short, caution and persistent vigilance are as much a part of modern bass fishing as low-profile baitcasting reels and fluorocarbon line. Keep a sharp eye every time you leave the ramp, and avoid becoming one of those sad statistics.
I feel certain some of my readers--I personally know of two--have had their own encounters with the Chick. If any of you would like to step forward and share your accounts for a follow-up to this story, I'd welcome them. You would have the option to remain anonymous if you so desired. The facts about what happened are what's important--victims' names, not so much, unless you want readers to know. If you're interested, just email the facts to me, and I'll take it from there. You'll get to review and accept/reject anything BEFORE it is published. That's my promise.