Thursday, February 2, 2017

Sure As God Made Little Green Apples, "It's" Coming

I'm talking, of course, about a new season of boat-ramp follies, and that's no "alternative fact." Neither is the paraphrased account which follows.

A fella arrived at a boat ramp early one morning to go fishing with his father-in-law and another friend. Just so happened there was a weekend-warrior bass tournament getting ready to go. They fell into line, waiting their turn and watching, as each one launched, the next person pulled forward and then backed down the ramp as soon as the previous trailer had cleared.

Everything was OK until this trio's turn came, and they pulled around to line up for the ramp. The tournament dude from behind whipped up beside them and quickly began backing down the ramp ahead of them. Because he was by himself, he stopped his truck and hopped into the boat to back it off the trailer. He then pulled to the bank close to the ramp, jumped out, and went to move his truck.

At that point, however, "Mr. Hotshot" realized he had forgotten to put the plug in his high-dollar bass rig, which now was sinking. So he got out of the truck, hopped back in his boat, and started circling around fast, trying to get the water out of his boat--all the while blocking the ramp.

As luck would have it, a ranger had been watching this whole evolution. He yelled and asked the guy if he could move the truck, and the guy said yes, so the ranger pulled the rig into one of the parking spots and walked back to the ramp area. Meanwhile, the trio that had been so rudely cut off went ahead and launched. At a safe distance, they sat and watched "Mr. Hotshot" finally get enough water out of his boat to get the plug in it and leave the rest of the job to the bilge pump.

The ranger then motioned him over to the bank so he could hand over the truck keys--along with, as the trio learned later that day, four tickets. The ranger cited "Mr. Hotshot" for (1) blocking the ramp, (2) creating a wake in a no-wake zone, (3) having no fire extinguisher, and (4) having no sound device.

The folks at Wired2Fish have some suggestions to prevent this sort of situation. They've come up with what they call "8 Unwritten Rules of Boat-Ramp Etiquette." Here is author Walker Smith's list of suggested rules:

"Move to the side if you're not ready. There are a lot of things to check and recheck before launching your boat. Waiting until you're in the middle of a long line at a busy ramp is not the time to perform these tasks. When you pull into the parking lot, move to the side and let others go ahead and dump their boats. Put your plug in, take your straps off, take your motor toter off, plug in your graphs, put your lights in--whatever you have to do--before clogging up the line. Not only does this drastically help the flow of traffic, but it also ensures that you're doing everything properly and safely because you're not being rushed. Just move to the side, sip your coffee, and take your time. Your fellow fishermen will thank you.

"Turn off your headlights. Ever tried to back a boat trailer with someone's headlights in your face or mirrors? It's practically impossible. As soon as your truck goes into reverse, shut off your headlights, so people backing their trailers in will be able to see.

"Catch up after your truck is parked. Don't hang around and talk to your buddies with your vehicle blocking the ramp. Fishing is largely about fellowship and camaraderie, so there's nothing wrong with enjoying the time with your buddies. Just get your rig out of the way, and then you can talk to your heart's content.

"Don't hog the ramp. A lot of marinas have multiple boat lanes but no lines or concrete dividers. Essentially, they look like one really wide ramp. When the facility is busy, don't go down the very middle--that just clogs things up for everyone else in line. Dump your boat on the farthest side of the ramp, so other folks can launch next to you. There's no reason one trailer needs to take up two or more lanes.

"Have your nav lights on when your boat touches the water. Of course, this is assuming you're launching in the pre-dawn hours. Boat ramps, especially during tournaments, are extremely busy, and there are boats idling everywhere. If you launch your boat without the lights on, you're endangering those around you. Maybe you can see them, but they can't see you.

"Only tie to other boats with permission. Rigs cost a lot of money, and there's no sense in scratching someone's boat. It might seem harmless, but be respectful and ask permission before tying up to someone else's boat if there's no more dock space left. That guy probably worked hard to afford that boat, so be cognizant of his investment. It's a good idea to keep a few cheap bumper buoys in your rod locker. This will ensure there's no damage to the fiberglass, aluminum, or rub rails on either boat. Also, don't walk across someone else's boat without permission, and if you get that permission, be mindful of rods and reels that may be laying on the deck. Those, too, are expensive investments.

"There's nothing wrong with using your trolling motor. It takes a lot of practice to learn how to precisely maneuver your boat via outboard at low speeds. If you're in a local derby with lots of boats, things quickly can turn into an impromptu game of bumper boats if you're not careful. If you're in a tight spot, there's nothing wrong or wimpy about standing up and deploying your trolling motor. It's better than scraping the bow of your boat across someone's cowling.

"If the parking lot is empty, give everyone some space. If you sneak out for a few hours of weekday-afternoon fishing, and there are only a few trucks in the parking lot, give the other guy a little breathing room--don't park right next to him. When it's time to put his boat back on the trailer, don't force him to do some Austin Powers-esque moves to free himself from the unnecessary bind you put him in by leaving only 6 inches of wiggle room on one side of your rig. His truck doesn't need yours to keep it company."

The world, indeed, would be a better place if we were all aware of and followed these simple boat-ramp rules. However, we all know that's usually not what happens. In those instances, we all need to also remember this piece of guiding philosophy: Don't be ugly to someone, because they simply may be unaware. We're all on the same team, so try to be nice, and always be willing to help out a brother--or sister. Honey draws more flies than vinegar, or in this case, sarcasm. And yes, I, too, can take a lesson from that saying.


My thanks to Jim B. for suggesting this topic and providing a link.

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